I have always wondered how people set #RelationshipGoals
Social media is full of girls coming home to a dozen red roses or a surprise vacation to a dream destination ! But I am not one of them ! Sad ? Not really but then one had to redefine goals and restructure the meaning of romance for oneself .
I was given a questionnaire at a workshop I attended years ago …
• Does he paint your nails ?
• Do you make impulsive plans go out together for a meal ?
• Did you spend a large part of road trip resting your head on his shoulders ?
• Do you wear complementary outfits .. with nick names and identical caps ?
• Do you slather sun screen on your partner on the beach ?
• Do you hug each other at the airport irrespective of who is watching ?
By now my growing discomfort of putting a ✖️at the end of every question was getting to me . The questions got more and more personal and frankly I was not sure if this was for me !
Amidst the hype of over-the-top, sweet,bizarre, hysterical and some inflated ideas of what a couple should aim for in their relationship what should you dismiss? I had to look for a zone in between the highly curated lives people projected and reality !
Luckily this was when I chanced upon the charismatic Zoe Coetzee an in house relationship psychologist , Editor and Researcher @ EliteSingles USA !
She has a host of suggestions.
Listing some of the do-able goals …
*Maintaining ones singular identity .
*Growing .. evolving .
*Date night routines.
*Handle relationships with care .
*Be authentic .. the best version of yourself .
*Take the trust test .
*Clarity on finances .
*Be adventurous .
*Fight fair .
*Hold space .
As an Indian woman precariously perched on the right side of 60 ,I couldn’t agree more ! But honestly it was hard for me personally .. we both just evolved . There were battles ,one after the other , ceasefire was announced and before we knew it .. 4 decades has passed us by !
“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and the courage to accept the love in return.” – Maya Angelou quotes on love and relationships #RelationshipGoals
So queridos amigos please share your relationship goals . It will help to make midcourse corrections , steer comfortably through troubled waters and dock at a happy port !
Ship Ahoy ! All hands on the deck please !!!
Gratitude : To Zoe Coetzee for your invaluable inputs . You gave me a deeper insight into the delicate dynamics of interpersonal relationships.