Relationship goals .. a gentle reminder to self !

I have always wondered how people set #RelationshipGoals

Social media is full of girls coming home to a dozen red roses or a surprise vacation to a dream destination ! But I am not one of them ! Sad ? Not really but then one had to redefine goals and restructure the meaning of romance for oneself .

I was given a questionnaire at a workshop I attended years ago …

• Does he paint your nails ?

• Do you make impulsive plans go out together for a meal ?

• Did you spend a large part of road trip resting your head on his shoulders ?

• Do you wear complementary outfits .. with nick names and identical caps ?

• Do you slather sun screen on your partner on the beach ?

• Do you hug each other at the airport irrespective of who is watching ?

By now my growing discomfort of putting a ✖️at the end of every question was getting to me . The questions got more and more personal and frankly I was not sure if this was for me !

Amidst the hype of over-the-top, sweet,bizarre, hysterical and some inflated ideas of what a couple should aim for in their relationship what should you dismiss? I had to look for a zone in between the highly curated lives people projected and reality !

Luckily this was when I chanced upon the charismatic Zoe Coetzee an in house relationship psychologist , Editor and Researcher @ EliteSingles USA !

She has a host of suggestions.

Listing some of the do-able goals …

*Maintaining ones singular identity .

*Growing .. evolving .

*Date night routines.

*Handle relationships with care .

*Be authentic .. the best version of yourself .

*Take the trust test .

*Clarity on finances .

*Be adventurous .

*Fight fair .

*Hold space .

As an Indian woman precariously perched on the right side of 60 ,I couldn’t agree more ! But honestly it was hard for me personally .. we both just evolved . There were battles ,one after the other , ceasefire was announced and before we knew it .. 4 decades has passed us by !

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and the courage to accept the love in return.” – Maya Angelou quotes on love and relationships #RelationshipGoals

So queridos amigos please share your relationship goals . It will help to make midcourse corrections , steer comfortably through troubled waters and dock at a happy port !

Ship Ahoy ! All hands on the deck please !!!

Gratitude : To Zoe Coetzee for your invaluable inputs . You gave me a deeper insight into the delicate dynamics of interpersonal relationships.

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5 thoughts on “Relationship goals .. a gentle reminder to self !

  1. Somehow can’t share this delightful post with my followers on Twitter. But skipper you are on the right course. I too balked at your workshop questions. Painting my nails? Yikes. Please, Holding my hand when we cross the road is about as physical as we get. Needless to say in our great Indian “we don’t touch” way, we managed 3 decades of togetherness with 2 kids and 3 grandkids to show for our togetherness. The battles have ceased now mainly because I’ve learnt to keep my mouth shut at the right time…..and luckily our understanding of each other has increased.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Loved that take on relationship goals. over 12 years of mine, I know that if you partner can make you a better person, you are with the right partner. I would have crossed things on the list too except hugs are okay at airport cos no one watches. 😉
    Thank you for following my blog and I think I have landed at a place that I will enjoy. See you around.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I think its true in all areas of life. We get to see some propaganda projected by people with vested interests and we tend to take those as a reference for perfection and we strive for it. We do not understand that that is not the actual reality and we strive to achieve the “reality” that’s been manipulated by businessmen! For example buying gifts on Valentines day!

    Liked by 1 person

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